Another bain of a student’s existence but nonetheless my grades so far is as follows….not too bad :-p
| PSYC-310-001 | Intro to Forensic Psychology | 3.00 | A- |
| COMM-535-003 | Election 2008: Polls/Pol/Youth | 3.00 | A- |
| COMM-346-001 | Public Relations Case Studies | 3.00 | B+ |
| PERF-161-001 | Gospel Choir | 1.00 | A |
| COMM-596-003 | Visual Strategies in Pub Rel | 3.00 | A |
| COMM-542-001 | Media Relations | 3.00 | B+ |
I tried to focus this semester on slowing down with my life and really loving and appreciating it. And for the most part, I believe I have learned how to slow down without “doing less” so to speak. I realize that I’ve been a lot more content and mellow this semester than anything else, and that’s a good thing. I’ve learned the simpler things can make me feel really worthwhile and content and that serving and loving others is above all most important, rather than “doing.” For example, I have an obsession with cooking for people almost as if I were a mother (HA!). I find relaxation in cleaning and just walking alone observing nature and people as they pass by.
It must be getting in touch with my “inner domesticity” or just trying to satisfy myself in the little things. I’ve also noticed that being alone and doing things on my own in the beginning of the week really gives me enough breathing room to run through the hectic weekend. But at the same time, I’ve begun to become more anti-social on Mondays-Wednesdays. Perhaps no quite as good…
Isn’t it such a strange thing how life is sometimes?
As second semester of senior year has come to an end, there are always a million things running through my mind. Some are on an endless loop of replay, some are replaying but with newer thoughts and distortions entering in, and others are simply joining in. Everything rotates in my head like a DJ on 99.5 playing the same songs over and over again on the radio. And to an effect, it seems like all I want to do is to stop thinking and shout. But, life’s thoughts are always like that…it’s rotating in and out and when a new phase of life hits, a new single is introduced. Then, it slowly gets old..and more come. It’s so redundant and crazy but necessary at times.
Currently, there are a couple of rotating thoughts in my head: what I’m going to do is one of them and it’s probably the hit single that is being overplayed. And no matter how many remixes I make out of it, it’s still the same old boring melody. I think to myself that I should not get caught up in the future, but I can’t help but to think about what is going to happen. What job am I going to end up doing? Am I going to get a job at all? The world is full of endless possibilities, and to tell the truth, some I’m very fond of but others I’m not too crazy about. But I know that through it all, God is testing my patience and ultimately, I’m failing every day and asking him the same questions over and over again, like a kid in the backseat of a long car ride annoyingly asking “Are we there yet?”. God is driving the car, and hopefully not too getting too frustrated at me (even though I would get frustrated at myself). Note to self: must learn patience….or learn to accept that I can only cling onto God and hope for the best.
I’ve also noticed increasingly that my thoughts about school/work is starting to get negative. Why am I wasting so much time and effort on school? Why is me being in class so important? I’m not learning too much and all I want to do is get out there and experience the world. So much so that it’s almost starting to affect the attitude I have towards work and school. It’s the feeling of “I don’t care and why should I” that kind of adds to the fact that I’m a senior and ready to leave and find out what I am going to do in my life. It all comes back to patience in the Lord and trusting that He’ll answer my prayers in time.
Increasingly, I’ve found out a quote that is so true about God answering prayers. His answers are: a) Yes! b) Not yet…. c) I have a better idea.
Another recurring thought is the fact that I want to escape and leave everything I know behind. I’m still unsure as to whether God is telling me this or not. The good side is that I get to experience independence, freedom, coming out of the comfort zone I’ve been in for all of my life. But the bad is that I may be trying to leave responsibilities and the people I love behind…or trying to get rid of burdens that I know I could be taking care of. Am I running towards a new beginning or running away from my old life? I’m not quite sure yet…and again it all comes back to being patient and finding out from the Lord when the time is right. Please God, let me be patient….
More on the semester later….
