I have exactly 2 weeks and a half or so to prepare for the retreat. This is my countdown realizing that now it’s crunchtime to work on some of these things that Pastor Andrew gave us in the retreat doc (meditation, prayer, lesson plans, etc.). It will be somewhat hard to do because of time, but thankfully, I cleared up most of the month to have not much going on except the retreat. So hopefully this gives me time to prepare for the retreat.
I must admit that last week was such a massive fail in terms of doing devotions because I was so tired. I noticed that whenever something changes in my schedule, like for example working overtime, it completely throws off my devotions schedule. And I’m not sure how to overcome that yet, because when I’m extremely tired I find it hard to wake up and have that time for God. But maybe it’s not really about that, rather it’s a desire to meet with Him and to long to be with Him despite my busy day. I get used to the idea of going home and just relaxing, but often I don’t seek God after a long day’s work because I’m tired. Something needs to change here: attitude, thoughts, routines, patterns. After all, this life is not a routine with God, it’s a relationship with Him.
Hence, leading me to the verse: Romans 5:8-But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
It’s actually one of the verses we are concentrating on for the first session of the retreat. God loved us first, then we loved Him after He has predestined us. I guess for me, I see this tangibly in my husband who has loved me despite my failures in life. However, this is only a glimpse of how much God loves me, because He loved me before I knew Him. That’s kind of intense: shows the dedication and hope and desire that is greater than man.
Hopefully I can meditate and truly understand what this verse means to me. This is the first step to my retreat preparation….
